Kazuki’s Journal:My Guardian Angel…
by AyA KuReNaI
Summary: Kazuki in a world full of close minded people...With only his guardian angel to protect him...


Kazuki's Journal:My Guardian Angel…  
Pairing:KazukiXJubei  
Kazuki Abuse!  
Author:Me....

When you go to a small private school where pretty much everybody knows everybody, it's hard to remain anonymous. And when you go to a small private school full of closed minded, highly opinionated individuals, it's hard to survive when you're different...Especially if you're the only guy who cross dresses in the small private school full of those closed minded, highly opinionated individuals.

"Look, it's the Cross dressing boy!!"

"Look at the him! He's gonna cry! Boo hoo!"

"Cry, cry, cry! Go on and run home we don't need you here !"

Those words and many others rang painfully through my head. Everyday since I entered highschool...and no matter how many times they'd scream those catcalls at me, I still couldn't shield myself...make myself ignore them.I couldn't use my strings on them… I pity them for their ignorance. any kind of explanation won't work on them. I would just slip grudgingly into my submissive shell and let them push me back and fourth through the crowd, into walls, lockers, trash cans. The pushing would turn to shoving, the shoving growing more violent until it changed to physical abuse...punching, smacking, literally throwing my lithe body into the wall so as to crack my bones and break my skin. They got some kind of pleasure out of seeing me bleed...seeing me become bruised and broken. Somehow they believed that abusing me on the outside abused me on the inside, as well...and they were right. With each broken bone, bruised patch of skin, and bleeding abrasion, my spirit broke, my soul bruised, my heart bled. Perhaps I wouldn't have minded so much...if they hadn't gone far enough as to beat me up everyday as they hooted and cheered, hoping that I would eventually crumple and die.

My eyes stung, my face grew hot. I became dizzy, with loss of blood, being spun around in their crowd, not even enough room for me to be pushed around correctly. I was grabbed mockingly in places that caused me to grow hot with embarrassment and anger, fists came into contact with my face and stomach, knees came into contact with my chest and groin, feet came into contact with my head and legs...sharp, painful contact. I was sure I heard my bones cracking, but over the hollering and the cheering, it was hard to tell.

I caught a glimpse of a lone face...like an angel that face was, sad, remorseful, wishing he could do something to stop the havoc, stop my pain. I sighed, wishing that it was real. But I knew...I had seen what I thought had been guardian angels many times, but never had they been real...never had they guarded me...  
Suddenly, I was on the floor, coughing, crying, and no one was hovering over me, no one was badgering or abusing me anymore. I looked up and saw my attackers on the walls around me, several feet off the ground, holding onto their necks as if they were being strangled by invisible hands. I gazed in awe at them as they gagged and gasped for air, legs kicking frantically, scraping at their necks, not coming into contact with what was holding them there. My eyes widened immensely, and my jaw grew slack. I could only manage to move my arm to wipe the blood that was dripping from my mouth off my lip and face. Otherwise, I was frozen stiff with wonderment, confusion, and something like relief...or glory... I couldn't tell how long I had stared, but by the time they all fell to the ground, gasping desperately for air, not quite able to supply themselves with the oxygen they needed, they were unable to attack anymore. I felt a hand on my shoulder, which then dropped to my hand, grabbing it and pulling me to my feet.

"Come on...we don't have much time before they realize what's happened!"

I turned to look at my savior, but his head was turned, facing away from me as he dragged me down the halls, out the door, down unfamiliar streets until we had run too much for our legs and lungs to handle. I collapsed before he did, but he stopped running for my sake. I sat up, only to lean against the brick wall of a park gate, gulping air greedily into my lungs. I looked in the general direction of my school, wondering if anyone had followed. I felt movement beside me and turned. A boy from my school settled himself next to me. The angelic face I had seen before! It was real! I almost smiled, but I didn't, looking down at my feet, noticing I had been shuffling them nervously. "Jubei!"

I didn't, again turning my face, afraid he would be uncomfortable around me if he felt I was scrutinizing him. "So are you gonna torture me now? Tease me and make fun of me and abuse me?? You promised to be my protector…But….Where were you in the times I needed you?…" I could not speak anymore….and I wanted, with all my heart and soul, to trust him...to trust that he was going to be good to me that he wuld protect me, but I had been hurt so many times in the past but he was never there.

"No," Jubei finally answered me, sounding hurt. I looked over at him, sad that I had caused him to feel hurt. I almost put my hand on his shoulder, but I didn't, and looked away again, closing my eyes tightly. I had been hurt so much more than he, though.

"Then...why?" I had to know...

"Nanda?" Jubei asked. I turned to look at him again, and he gazed at me with inquisitive, beautiful eyes. I almost sighed, but I didn't.

"Why did you help me?" 

He turned pink, the blush showing up darkly on his pale skin. He frowned...did he ever smile?...and furrowed his eyebrows. "Because..."

I looked away again, knowing that me staring at him wouldn't help him find the answer. I was truly scared of the boy, as gorgeous as he was.

"Because..." 

Rain started to pour… I watched the rain falling while waiting for Jubei's answer…

Suddenly, I felt cool, gentle hands on my chin, and my gaze wasn't on the rain anymore. It was captured in eyes, captivated. I couldn't remove my gaze from the dark orbs that entranced me so. But then heavy lashes lowered and the eyes were concealed behind pale lids, and then soft lips were on mine, only for a second, before I had time to register what had happened and respond accordingly. Jubei pulled away and...smiled...

"Because Im your protector."

I sat, staring, eyes wide...they hadn't closed since he touched my chin...jaw slack. My lack of reaction caused Jubei's smile to fade, and he blushed even more, the redness reaching the very tips of his ears. Finally, my brain caught up with the rest of the world and I blinked, closing my mouth. I realized my lips and throat were very dry and I let my tongue slip out to moisten my lips. I could tell Jubei was enticed by the small gesture; he grew even redder if that was possible. Blood probably would have been rushing out of his eyes and ears if he grew any more embarrassed than he already was. The gorgeous boy looked down, seeming as if he was debating with himself whether or not to stand up and lead me away from the park...seeming as if he was wondering if he should give up on me...but he grew bold. He looked back at me and smiled again. It was a precious thing, his smile. His face would glow and his eyes would shine when he smiled. He did it so rarely it was almost like it was something he only wanted to share with me. Then he reached out and touched my hair. I flinched slightly, but forced myself to trust him. My throat was still dry and I felt my voice would fail me if I tried to speak, but I had to ask him something as he began running his slender fingers through my hair.

"Why did you kiss me?"

Jubei's hand froze and his gaze met mine in a piercing midnight stare. I almost regretted asking...but I didn't.

"Because I love you," was all he said before he turned his attention back to my hair.

"No one's ever loved me before..." I said, looking down, forcing Jubei to stop fiddling with my hair.

He scooted closer to me and straddled my thighs, taking my hands in his and kissing my forehead. I looked up in surprise, my mouth slightly agape, and he took advantage of that and pressed his lips to mine. He slipped his tongue past my open lips and into my mouth, sliding it over the surface of my own slightly before grazing the roof of my mouth. I responded timidly, running my tongue lightly over Jubei's. Jubei leaned into me as if he was trying to get more access to my mouth, and I groaned. I felt him smile against my lips and I knew he liked the sound and would probably try to induce it out of me at every opportunity. Much to my chagrin, Jubei pulled away, leaving me red in the face and wanting him badly. He released my right hand and began stroking the outside of my thigh lightly, soothingly, comfortingly... 

"Do you like being loved?" he drawled, bringing the hand he still held in his own up to his lips, kissing the tips of my fingers.

I sighed, closing my eyes and leaning my head back against the brick wall behind me. "Yes, I think I like it very much."

I opened my eyes again so I could gaze into Jubei's eyes. He moved the hand that was stroking my thigh up to my torso, running it over the cloth that covered my stomach and chest until he reached my neck. He let his fingers dance over the skin of my neck and up to my cheek, where he flattened his hand against the side of my face so he could run it through my hair. He leaned in for another kiss, but before his lips could reach mine again, a rock flew between our faces.

"FREAKS!" I heard someone shout. The call was followed by another rock and the chants of several other guys our age, who also decided to throw things at us...whatever they could find. Some even threw their shoes.

I could tell my face had a look of terror plastered across it, but Jubei's was full of anger. Jubei stood up, pulling me with him, and began to run. I stumbled after him, his hand still locked in mine so he could drag me along. When I noticed the flying projectiles had ceased, I turned to look at what had made our attackers stop. I briefly saw needles which were after the guys from the school.. and Jubei pulled me 'round a corner . We went to the Fuuga HQ…

We went to my room…Jubei as he made a circle around my room, finally finishing his quest when he stood in front of me. The gorgeous boy in front of me reached up and brushed my bangs away from my face, tucking a few strands that were particularly long behind my ear. His delicate fingers lingered at my ear for a moment before they trailed lightly down my jawbone. When he reached my chin, he grasped it firmly between his thumb and forefinger and lowered my head so he could access my mouth easily, as he was a few inches shorter than I was. He nipped at my lips before covering them with his mouth, kissing me for the third time that day. I sighed. Jubei pulled away, burying his hands in my hair and resting his head on my chest. I wrapped my arms loosely around his torso and let them rest limply on his waist.

"I've been waiting a long time for this," he breathed, warming the skin of my chest through my shirt, "Kazuki-Sama."

I felt tears brimming in the corners of my eyes, and I almost let them fall, but I didn't. This felt wonderful...just to hold...and be held. For Jubei to accept me and love me for who I was, what I was. I felt like I was floating, like I had found a true heaven on earth. I held Jubei tighter.

"Arigatou...Jubei-kun" I whispered to Jubei, "boku no shugotenshi." 

owari

Means "my guardian angel"...


End file.
